By Attorney Erin M. Idler, Lawyer/Mediator
Divorce does not have to be a battle. Working together to have an amicable divorce can be less stressful and lower cost than a contentious one. Here are some tips to help you achieve a peaceful outcome:
1. Open and Honest Communication
- Maintain a respectful tone: Avoid blaming, name-calling, or making accusations.
- Focus on the future: Discuss your goals for the divorce and how you envision your lives moving forward, rather than past blame.
- Be willing to compromise: Find common ground and be flexible about finding a solution that works for both of you.
- Keep an open mind: You need education and professional input to understand options and make well-informed decisions. Be open to considering creative solutions for agreement rather than locking into positions at the beginning.
2. Prioritize Children’s Well-Being
- Put their needs first: Avoid involving them in adult disputes or using them as messengers.
- Create a co-parenting plan: Establish a clear schedule for custody, placement, and communication that focuses on creating a healthy future for your children.
- Maintain a united front: Present a unified message to your children, even if you disagree privately.
3. Seek Professional Help
- Understand your process options: We offer a free initial phone consultation to help you weigh your options. You can also learn more about your options here.
- Consider mediation: A neutral lawyer mediator can provide legal education and help facilitate communication so you can reach agreements. Learn more about mediation here.
- Create a Healthy Support System: Counseling can help you process your emotions and provide tools to help you navigate divorce amicably. A financial advisor can help you understand the current and long-term impact of divorce decisions.
4. Focus on Financial Matters
- Required financial disclosure: You will each need to complete a detailed financial report for the court that will be a basis for financial agreements.
- Gather necessary documents: Collect financial records, such as tax returns, bank, investment, and retirement account statements, and property deeds.
- Create a budget: Determine your income and expenses to assess your financial needs and cashflow options.
- Understand property division and income allocation: Agree on how to value and allocate assets, debts, and income in a way that works for you and your family now and in the future.
5. Be Patient and Understanding
- Divorce is a process: Understand the information and steps needed to reach agreements and prepare for your new life.
- Avoid rushing: Take your time to make informed, thoughtful decisions to avoid future regrets or conflict that can result in returns to court.
- Focus on your own well-being as well as that of your family: Prioritize self-care and seek support from friends and family to help you create a positive outcome.
Remember, an amicable divorce is possible, but it requires effort, listening, problem-solving, and a commitment to a peaceful resolution. By following these guidelines, you can increase your chances of a smooth and healthy transition.