Frequently Asked Questions

The traditional legal process with adversarial lawyers can result in increased conflict and cost. However, a do-it-yourself approach can result in making uninformed decisions and mistakes that result in future returns to court. In mediation, a neutral lawyer will guide you through all necessary information, legal issues, and decisions as well as draft and file the documents you need from beginning to end of the legal process for your divorce. You and your spouse meet together with the mediator to gather information, discuss options, and create your own agreement. By choosing mediation, you can reduce conflict, control outcomes and costs, and prevent future returns to court.

Yes. Unmarried couples with family law issues may choose mediation as a process to resolve issues when they separate. This can include issues pursuant to a paternity action or non-court resolution of financial or child-related concerns for those who are living together.

You can choose to represent yourself, each hire a lawyer in a traditional process, each hire a collaborative settlement lawyer, or jointly retain a neutral lawyer mediator. Learn more about the different divorce process options.  Costs vary greatly for each process. Learn more about the costs for each process.

The traditional process is a court-based adversarial approach for legal disputes. Lawyers are hired to advocate for each person’s positions. If no agreement is reached about children, you must participate in court-ordered mediation and a Guardian ad Litem lawyer can be appointed for your children. If you still have no agreement, a formal trial occurs, and a judge makes the final decisions about finances and children.

That is up to you. You need to assess what you need to make informed and durable legal agreements. Working jointly with a neutral lawyer in mediation provides legal education and supports well-informed decision-making for both of you. We encourage parties to consider consulting with an individual lawyer to obtain legal advice and can provide referrals, but the ultimate choice is yours.

Pro Se is the legal term for self-representation; it is also called the “kitchen table” approach. When you choose to represent yourself, you must make all legal and financial decisions and complete and file all legal documents on your own. Family Mediation Center is a helpful resource for pro se individuals seeking education and assistance in navigating the court process. This helps you avoid mistakes and reduces the likelihood of returning to court in the future.

You may suggest a joint consultation at Family Mediation Center with your spouse to obtain information and understand process options and legal procedures before making a decision. It is important to decide on a process and then get educated about the legal, financial, and family  impact of decisions before you start negotiating outcomes. You may choose to meet with a child or financial specialist before or after meeting with a legal mediator. Also see our blog about How to Bring Up Divorce to Your Spouse.

There are steps you can take to help you prepare for divorce. Consider each of these steps before you file.

Yes. It is an option for a couple to file a Joint Petition and Joint Confidential Petition Addendum. Couples that start their divorce in mediation typically have joint pleadings drafted and filed by the lawyer mediator.

It depends on your level of commitment, communication, and needs. The process ends when you reach an agreement on all issues. There is a mandatory 120 waiting period from the time of filing. Though some couples have issues that take more time, a target goal for most mediation couples is four months after filing to complete all homework and reach a final agreement. If you choose the no-court Divorce by Affidavit process, the mediator can file the necessary legal documents and ask the court for approval. In the alternative, the lawyer mediator will need to obtain a final hearing date for the court to approve your agreement and grant the divorce.

You need to decide joint or sole legal custody (major decision-making such as medical, educational, and religious decisions) and placement (the schedule of time with each parent including school year, vacations, and holidays) and child support/expenses. It is also important to have a plan for communication and resolution of other parenting issues that may arise.

You can work directly with a child specialist to create a plan that works for both of you and your children. The child specialist will help you focus on the needs and interests of your children and draft a plan that addresses all important topics and reflects your agreements as parents. Check out our Blog posts about children and divorce to understand how to create a plan focused on your child’s well-being.

Child support is monthly payments paid by one parent to another for the support of the children. There is a state formula for child support that you can choose to use or not. Child variable expenses, such as education and activities, must also be allocated.

In an action for divorce or legal separation, maintenance must be addressed. Maintenance, also called alimony, is monthly payments by one spouse to the other for the support of the spouse. There is no standard formula for determining maintenance. Decisions about amount and duration are based upon a number of statutory factors. Two of the key factors are the length of the marriage and the difference in the income of the parties. Maintenance is awarded based upon legal considerations of support and fairness.

In divorce or legal separation, property division is the allocation of all assets and debts. Unless you have a prenuptial agreement, the legal presumption is an equal division of all assets and debts. Gifted and inherited property may be excluded from division, and other considerations may alter this assumption.  Dividing assets in divorce requires disclosure, valuation, and knowing options for allocation of each asset and debt.

There are numerous factors to consider for house ownership, including value, title, and mortgages or other attached debt, occupancy, and expenses. Professional input now can help you understand your options and avoid future legal or financial issues.

FMC provides the option of online mediation via Zoom for Wisconsin couples who do not reside near our mediation center or who prefer the convenience of virtual meetings.  See our webpage for more information.

If you reach an agreement in mediation or are both represented, you may have the option of a no-court Divorce by Affidavit.