Divorce Mediation Myths Exposed

Mediation means one attorney for both sides: Representing both spouses would be unethical.  The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse.  The mediator will provide education and guidance to assist the couple in building their final resolution.  However, the mediator cannot give legal advice and does not appear in court.

A Mediator won’t tell me anything about the law that I can’t find on the internet: The law is complex and can be interpreted in different ways.  It is important to understand current impact and discuss future consequences. Opinions and articles on the internet are not always accurate and do not delineate the differences in state laws. A Wisconsin lawyer mediator can explain the law, support fully informed decisions and assure proper steps are taken to implement legal agreements.

A Mediator will decide for us if we cannot agree: The mediator cannot tell you what to do or make decisions for you—only a judge or arbitrator can do that.  

Couples with a high net worth or financial complexities do not benefit from using Mediation: Though couples with a high net worth can afford litigation, they may actually benefit more from mediation.  Mediation can involve a neutral financial specialist to help jointly address values, tax effect and allocation options for assets and income.  This helps both parties understand and discuss financial settlement options rather than hiring separate lawyers and dueling financial experts to fight over values and final divisions in court.

Mediation will not work for couples who disagree on issues: The only issue the couple must agree on is a resolution to educate themselves and commit to mutual communication and joint effort to resolve issues outside of court.

I’ll settle for less than I’m entitled if I don’t have an attorney: What each is ‘entitled to’ varies depending on different interpretations of the law. Mediation helps spouses reflect on and satisfy their needs and interests rather than focusing on entitlements/positions that distract from their end-goal.

Mediation is always the best process:  Mediation is not appropriate for all cases.  High conflict, mental health issues or refusal to participate in full disclosure may prevent productive outcomes in mediation.  Mediation is a voluntary process.  If either of you decides that mediation is not working for any reason, you always have the option stop mediation and pursue a traditional divorce process.