First Step to a Divorce: Choosing a Process

The decision to divorce your spouse has many emotional and financial ramifications and involves many choices. Choosing your process is the first step and then there are many additional decisions you will both need to make. There are likely bank accounts to divide, home ownership and a mortgage balance to deal with, and credit card debt to pay. If you have children, all of their day-to-day needs and activities continue—school work, after-school activities to be driven to, doctor appointments to be made. With a separation, a child placement schedule must be arranged with the other parent.

All of the above decisions have the ability to be an “issue” in the divorce process. With each issue comes the potential of conflict and the decision whether to hire a lawyer. The traditional view of divorce is that it is inevitably adversarial with damaging emotional and financial costs for the family.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

​After you have made the decision to divorce, your first step is to become educated about process options. One alternative to the traditional divorce process is mediation. Mediation is a confidential, problem-solving process in which a neutral third party (the lawyer mediator) will help educate and guide both of you through all necessary decisions and documents you need to complete for a divorce or separation. You and your spouse deal with all “issues” outside of the courtroom and retain all decision-making. It’s your family. Divorce should be your process and your resolution.